Justice usually seeks out Compassion in order to work together to right some wrongs in the city. This being a world of mortals, there's never any shortage of hurts to heal and injustices to avenge, and sometimes it helps to have two virtues along instead of only one.
But there's another reason that Justice likes Compassion's company, and that's because there's comfort in being with someone else like him. No mortal can really understand what it's like to be a spirit, much less a spirit trapped on the wrong side of the Veil.
That's, perhaps, the main reason why he finds Compassion this time. He's discovered that he somehow possesses his friend in the future, and he's seen how drastically it's changed him and Anders. Despite the lengths Anders went to calm him, he finds himself obsessing over the idea that he's hurt one of the only mortals who treated him kindly, that he's done something terrible because of his own selfish desire for a functional body, that he's doomed to slowly be corrupted into a demon, that there's nothing he can do to fix it--his mind is going around in circles of guilt and fear and regret, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.
So instead of dealing with it, he's just going to Compassion instead, because Justice doesn't know how to self-soothe and so he seeks out someone that has proven to be an external source of comfort in the past. Unlike usual, he doesn't speak to Compassion when he finally finds it. There's no particular injustice he needs help righting. Instead, he just silently sits next to Compassion.
It doesn't occur to him to talk about his feelings. Left to his own devices, he'll just sit there and hope that Compassion's presence makes it easier to handle the storm in his head.
The difference between spirits and people is a strange one. They are, simultaneously, both more and less complicated. It's hard to explain to anyone who can't feel it, the strange contradiction. The Fade is similar in that way; simple, but complex. Always changing yet always the same.
It's this that makes reading another spirit... different. Cole has to feel more, to pay attention, but all the same the feeling clicks easier.
It's not something he's ever though about, since he's never gotten to personally know many spirits before. At least, not that he can remember. But it's nice and... understandable. So he'd be fine with just being.
But Cole is still Compassion too and he can't just ignore what he feels. He never can.
"Something's wrong." It's not a question, but he gives Justice a curious look anyway. "Something... Something bad happened?"
That one is a question, because the feelings are messy. All jumbled up, turning and turning, hard to keep track of. He needs to know before he can help.
It's not unexpected for Compassion to ask after the issue. Justice just isn't sure how to respond. He's used to just forgetting the sources of these kinds of feelings rather than actually dealing with them, and now he doesn't know how to put it into words.
"I found a friend from home. He is from the future. Apparently, he and I agreed that I would possess him in exchange for my assistance ending the oppression of mages." Justice's voice is flat as he speaks. To an outsider, it could be as dry and simple as rattling off a grocery list. But Justice doesn't know how to put all his feelings into words, so he has to just say what happened and hope that Compassion understands. Compassion is a spirit as well--it is more equipped to understand Justice's feelings than anyone else.
"His personality is different now. He was not smiling or joking like he used to. He lost so much weight that I feared he was ill. I could not recognize myself in him. What remains of me is sick with corruption, and I believe it is becoming a demon."
Justice stares at nothing, his hands clenched together so hard in his lap that his knuckles are white. Even still, his voice is flat. "He does not blame me for this, but I fear that I have irreparably harmed him."
He's heard the word 'abomination' thrown around enough back in the Spire that it comes to him immediately, but he doesn't say it out loud. It doesn't seem like a fair word to use. And maybe partially because he understands the fear. There was a time when Cole thinks he might've been a demon himself. Or... close to it. It's terrifying. And for Justice, it's apparently reality.
"You... wanted to help. You both wanted to help..." Helping mages is a goal Cole can definitely get behind. Helping shouldn't lead to this, should it? "You didn't know."
Or... won't have known. The tenses are difficult here, obviously. But the reassurance isn't much and Cole knows it. Doesn't need to get a do over to know it doesn't help. But he'll... try something else. He can't not try.
"He's... here, though. Awake." Awake, living, breathing. "So there has to be something we can do to help."
He didn't know, but he should have known. He knew that possession was wrong. He just convinced himself that it wasn't wrong if he had permission from the host first.
He wanted to help, and intention does matter, but he should have known better.
Compassion does help direct his attention, though, and for that, Justice is grateful. He's having trouble thinking straight. Perhaps he can't undo what happened to Anders, but maybe something can be done now.
"I do not know how to help him. He says that he cannot differentiate between his thoughts and mine any longer." But just because he doesn't know how to help doesn't mean he can't. Maybe Compassion will have an idea, or maybe they can figure something out together. Or maybe he will just have to wait for more information and see if opportunities for helping come up. "I will encourage him to eat more. Perhaps he can at least gain weight."
That is not going to solve all the problems with this, but it's a start. Justice is terrified by witnessing his own corruption, but helping Anders is his priority. Helping himself is secondary.
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But there's another reason that Justice likes Compassion's company, and that's because there's comfort in being with someone else like him. No mortal can really understand what it's like to be a spirit, much less a spirit trapped on the wrong side of the Veil.
That's, perhaps, the main reason why he finds Compassion this time. He's discovered that he somehow possesses his friend in the future, and he's seen how drastically it's changed him and Anders. Despite the lengths Anders went to calm him, he finds himself obsessing over the idea that he's hurt one of the only mortals who treated him kindly, that he's done something terrible because of his own selfish desire for a functional body, that he's doomed to slowly be corrupted into a demon, that there's nothing he can do to fix it--his mind is going around in circles of guilt and fear and regret, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.
So instead of dealing with it, he's just going to Compassion instead, because Justice doesn't know how to self-soothe and so he seeks out someone that has proven to be an external source of comfort in the past. Unlike usual, he doesn't speak to Compassion when he finally finds it. There's no particular injustice he needs help righting. Instead, he just silently sits next to Compassion.
It doesn't occur to him to talk about his feelings. Left to his own devices, he'll just sit there and hope that Compassion's presence makes it easier to handle the storm in his head.
no subject
It's this that makes reading another spirit... different. Cole has to feel more, to pay attention, but all the same the feeling clicks easier.
It's not something he's ever though about, since he's never gotten to personally know many spirits before. At least, not that he can remember. But it's nice and... understandable. So he'd be fine with just being.
But Cole is still Compassion too and he can't just ignore what he feels. He never can.
"Something's wrong." It's not a question, but he gives Justice a curious look anyway. "Something... Something bad happened?"
That one is a question, because the feelings are messy. All jumbled up, turning and turning, hard to keep track of. He needs to know before he can help.
no subject
"I found a friend from home. He is from the future. Apparently, he and I agreed that I would possess him in exchange for my assistance ending the oppression of mages." Justice's voice is flat as he speaks. To an outsider, it could be as dry and simple as rattling off a grocery list. But Justice doesn't know how to put all his feelings into words, so he has to just say what happened and hope that Compassion understands. Compassion is a spirit as well--it is more equipped to understand Justice's feelings than anyone else.
"His personality is different now. He was not smiling or joking like he used to. He lost so much weight that I feared he was ill. I could not recognize myself in him. What remains of me is sick with corruption, and I believe it is becoming a demon."
Justice stares at nothing, his hands clenched together so hard in his lap that his knuckles are white. Even still, his voice is flat. "He does not blame me for this, but I fear that I have irreparably harmed him."
no subject
He's heard the word 'abomination' thrown around enough back in the Spire that it comes to him immediately, but he doesn't say it out loud. It doesn't seem like a fair word to use. And maybe partially because he understands the fear. There was a time when Cole thinks he might've been a demon himself. Or... close to it. It's terrifying. And for Justice, it's apparently reality.
"You... wanted to help. You both wanted to help..." Helping mages is a goal Cole can definitely get behind. Helping shouldn't lead to this, should it? "You didn't know."
Or... won't have known. The tenses are difficult here, obviously. But the reassurance isn't much and Cole knows it. Doesn't need to get a do over to know it doesn't help. But he'll... try something else. He can't not try.
"He's... here, though. Awake." Awake, living, breathing. "So there has to be something we can do to help."
no subject
He wanted to help, and intention does matter, but he should have known better.
Compassion does help direct his attention, though, and for that, Justice is grateful. He's having trouble thinking straight. Perhaps he can't undo what happened to Anders, but maybe something can be done now.
"I do not know how to help him. He says that he cannot differentiate between his thoughts and mine any longer." But just because he doesn't know how to help doesn't mean he can't. Maybe Compassion will have an idea, or maybe they can figure something out together. Or maybe he will just have to wait for more information and see if opportunities for helping come up. "I will encourage him to eat more. Perhaps he can at least gain weight."
That is not going to solve all the problems with this, but it's a start. Justice is terrified by witnessing his own corruption, but helping Anders is his priority. Helping himself is secondary.